Total Pageviews

Follow by Email

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


27 August 2013

"The mere wisp of recognition that I am aware of duality in any situation is the proof that I am moving away from singularity.  This is not a bad thing; rather it is fun and mildly aMUSEing.  For only through the witnessing and recognition can I accept and honor my humanness.  Great joy can spring from my understanding that my thoughts, feelings, and emotions are subtle proofs that I have still not let go completely; that I am still "too much with this world."  When I do finally let go, this reality of `mine' will unravel and home will be where my heart goes -- back into the light of the non-light; back into the one of the Not-Two. 

This knowledge makes me so grateful that all I want to do is share it with others who also find themselves too much with this world.  Sharing with carefully expressed words is the second best way I know how to do that; teaching light-heartedness and silence is the best way to do it of all."

Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS
April 19, 2012

Things have been crazy since my last posting -- at least that's the excuse I'm going to use!

Well, they have been busy, that's for sure.  I did sell my wonderful home in Washington, DC and moved to Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday, April 19 -- the actual closing on the apartment taking a day later because of closing type issue snafus.  As the old song goes, "Bless the banks and the children ..." (or something close to that.)!

Now, a'la Christopher Isherwood of Berlin Stories fame (Caberet for those of you who don't your literature.), I'm living in a simple little room while I attend to the housing search.  Things are looking good on that end, and I may have news to report soon; or more likely, I'll just post it all belatedly another month from today.  Laughing out loud ...




Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS

Friday, April 13, 2012

Florida Skies and Absolute Knowing


Unless something unforeseen happens at closing, the sale of the apartment I have lived in for nearly 20 years will be completed sometime between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. on Thursday, April 19, 2012.  At that time, whether the sale goes through or not, I will be on a plane flying to my new  home, Ft. Lauderdale.

Once in Ft. Lauderdale, I will pick up my rental car and drive to my new one-room apartment -- which I have for roughly two months.  During the days and weeks to follow, I will get a post office box, a driver's license, scout out possible employment opportunities, and really start scoping things out ... neighborhoods, homes, things-to-do, promises to keep, and etc.

So how do I feel about all of this?  Not as good as I thought I might; but I absolutely know that will all change once I land in Florida.

Right now I am more stressed than I have felt in a long, long time.  It's weird, because there really isn't anything that stressful going on -- on the surface -- but internally, it feels overwhelming.  I'm having the worst back muscle spasms -- nearly crippling -- which keeps me from sleeping deeply.  I'm supposed to be packing -- but can't seem to get anything done.  Next week I have to bring things to Comcast, go to sign settlement documents, and greet the movers -- who will take my few remaining things to Florida for me.

I don't feel like there's enough time for it all.

On the level of pure awareness, I know everything is going to be great; but there is a part of me that just abhors change and is trying to convince myself that all is not well.  But it is really great.  In seven days I will land in Florida and everything will change -- no doubt for the best.  It will be different and take some getting used to; but the Washington, DC cash drain will finally be gone.

For those who don't know, let me explain that a move costs you a lot on so many levels and in so many ways; it's like I have been feeling as if everybody and their grandmother wants to get a tiny piece of my skinny wallet ... and that they feel entitled to have an emotional piece of me, too ... from the realtors to the lawyers to the buyer of the house.  The truth is that this is just my disgruntled ego harping.

Most of these people are just part of the whole process that I need to move through as I leave from one place and alight at another.  I know that everything is okay.  I just need to ignore the egoic fears and baloney and muddle through these last days.  Live in the now and keep an eye on "the prize" ... the new possibilities that are sure to emerge.

I also find myself being tempted to regret things now, another trick of the ego: not having invested more money for retirement, not paying off more of my house so that I could have walked away with huge bags of cash, not trying harder to stay in DC by getting some job I loathed but which would have brought in food and rent,  and not having been even closer to all my dear friends than I was.

But regret at any juncture is sheer madness; it's useless and serves nobody.  The answer to all those regrets is the same: I'm in exactly the right place.  What is what is, what was done was done.  NOW is all that matters.  And now is fast becoming "next week in Florida" (which is just tomorrow's now!)!!!!!

A week from today I'll be a man awakening to a new morning and to the sun in Florida; perched at a  new beginning in a new home.
Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS

Saturday, March 10, 2012

nOW! Instead of OW!


"The next time the hammer of life seems to smash the thumb of your life -- try yelling out the word, "nOw" -- instead of "Ow."

(Or, if it REALLY smarts, you might want to embellish it with something more colorful, like "G*dam% mot^@9&fu!(ing nOw!!!")

It will still hurt like hell, but at least you're ackNOWledging the moment ... which is all you ever have. And you're allOWing the pain to move through you.

Remember: Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional."

                                          -- Michael Walker
Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS

Friday, January 13, 2012

Just a Sleepless Dream

I meant to post this from my Facebook account yesterday, but sometimes life moves faster than I am able!

Fortunately, I do eventually get around to paving my Road of Good Intentions!



===



This morning I awake from the tossing, and turning, and sleepless night dream which portends a day to follow filled with dark things and a lack of zeal. For sleeplessness underscores my body's need for something that it thinks is separate from God/dess. I expect that lack of sleep is somehow detrimental to my well-being. 


But my body is not real; it is my ego's greatest tool to distract me from the truth of the only thing that is real about me: my Inner Self. 


My little, frightened ego waves sleeplessness (or threatening headlines, a mild headache, my thinning hair, or a death in the family) in front of me like a pick pocket waving a newspaper; its aim to deflect my attention from the truth of who and what I am.


But years of experience with the false prophet (ego) enables me to turn my back on it and merely watch it -- knowingly -- from the corner of my eye. Sneaky ego -- you want me to forget that I can awaken from all the dreams (and layers of dreams) and merely allow Peace to carry me above them.


I choose to awaken today; I choose to remember that I awakened yesterday; I choose to remember that I will be awakened tomorrow.


All is well.


[Note: As I progressed through the writing of this piece, the sun burst through the gray clouds here in Washington, DC.]

Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS

Monday, January 2, 2012

Outlook 2012

Well, it's 2012 and -- depending on your belief system and your general life outlook -- this is either going to be the most fantastic year of our lives or the very last one.

According to how some perceive the calendar of the ancient Maya, this year (2012) is going to:


  • End on Doomsday, December 21, 
  • Be the beginning, middle, and/or end of a massive, tumultuous cosmic-shift in global human consciousness that will result in the transformation of survivors into enlightened beings, or
  • Wind up being just another year

Of course, the Mayan Calendar deal could really just be another instance of "you say" and "I say" ways of looking at the world and the expectations we bring to our everyday lives.

I myself, depending upon the degree of my own contact with my Inner Self at a given moment, have wavered on this theoretical event over the years -- going so far as to get into pissing matches about it with good, kind people during all sorts of social engagements. Deleting some, patronizing others, and completely grokking or otherwise resonating and commiserating with still others.

Part of me wants to believe that the world is ending (e.g. the undeserving are going to be crushed out of existence by some knowing God/dess or entity who, like Santa Claus, is keeping track of all our good and bad deeds.). While the other part of me knows with a passion and certainty that nothing like this could or would happen in a universe that is intrinsically neutral and merely a reflection of my own internal condition, inner beliefs, and expectations. In other words, reality is a reflection of what I believe ... what I expect is what I get.

The key here, of course, is understanding that the "part" of me that wants to be rewarded for "being good" and seeks revenge on the "bad ones" is my ego or lower self. The other part of me, my inner Higher Self, knows that there is no such thing as"bad" -- because we all come from the same Source, what some call God, Goddess, The Force, Higher Self, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Great Father/Mother, or etc.


The spirit of this belief system is one of non-duality. Only God exists and everything that appears to exist outside of God is merely an illusion. But, as physicist Albert Einstein said, it's a very persistent illusion. Ultimately, we created the illusion when we were "born" into it and maintained it -- alone and with the assistance of well-meaning others -- throughout our lives. The longer we allowed this illusion to exist, the stronger it became and the more difficult to expose as the lie that it truly is.
A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering. – Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)
An important part of the illusion -- which really snags us -- is the idea of lack and limitation. We believe we are inferior to our Source -- forgetting that we are children or outpourings of the source. As such, we are at least heirs to the Source and heirs to the "kingdom" it represents. Since our separation from Source is basically impossible, we can't really lack anything or be limited by anything. But our experience in this world of form often suggests otherwise.


That's because our egos manipulate us into believing its lies -- and we become persuaded or convinced that those lies must be true. People die in this world of form, for instance, therefore form must exist and form must ultimately become nonexistent. But form, which is fluid and which can be destroyed, is not real. Spirit, which is changeless and very real, is immortal.
Not one thing in the world is true. It does not matter what the form in which it may appear. It witnesses but to your own illusions of yourself. Let us not be deceived today. We are the Sons of God. There is no fear in us, for we are each a part of Love itself. – Lesson 240, A Course In Miracles
Practicing meditation and other forms of experiential union with Your Source can help you understand that form doesn't really exist; it's an illusion or a covering placed over truth to mislead you. Beneath all form (including the form of life and death) exists the reality of Oneness. It can't die because it is changeless and is the Source of everything.  If it has to have a name, the closest word I can come to define the nature of Source would be love.
‎It's better to die to who we think we are before who we think we are dies. -- Thomas Vieira 
Over the last eleven years (give or take a few) I began this serious venture into spiritual self-introspection that has led me to where I am today. Where I am today is basically the same person I was when I first ventured on that path, but with a lot less misperceptions of who I am, expectations about how I coulda shoulda woulda been, and with a lot less emotional, spiritual, and physical baggage than I had before starting on the path. (I'm defining "baggage" here as all the clutter that I've carried around in my head and stored in my various closets.)

I, myself, am not "there" yet, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am working at it as best I can, one day at a time, and with varying degrees of success.
One of the reasons I love social media sites -- like Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn -- is that they expose my real self to the world.  Many people are very worried about security and identification theft, etc. -- whereas I am more concerned with the daily theft of who I am -- by my ego.  By putting "myself" out there every day, I am letting all of you (who are reflections of my own inner self, right?) have a shot at showing me my own warts, defects of character, and bags of crapola. I don't like that when it happens -- but it keeps me more in line than I can be when I traverse this path alone.
The ego is not master in its own house. – From A Difficulty in the Path of Psycho-Analysis, 1917.
Thus, you all become my greatest teachers and I get to witness my own personal healing on a deep level of self.


Here are a few of my own personal projects and plans for the year 2012:
  • Decide whether to stay in Washington, DC longer or move to another area, possibly Ft. Lauderdale, to continue my life journey.
  • Continue my studies of non-duality and spirituality, specifically through A Course in Miracles and teachers like Adyashanti (website, video: Welcome to Reality, Bentinho Massaro (website, video: Understanding Life is Impossible), and Jed McKenna ; possibly start a meetup group to offer a way to contemplate non-duality with others.
  • Through the meetup group, Gay and Retired Elders and the People Who Love Them, discover more like-minded retirees in the area with which to hang out.
  • Through the meetup group, The Tribe of Beltway Shamans, learning more about shamanic healing and how to be a caretaker of the planet upon which we still live.
  • Through my Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn pages, maintain conscious contact with all my friends and teachers, old and new.
  • Through my personal site, DREAMWalker Group, continue attempting, with your help, to give cold cash back to the literary community. I do this by sharing my commissions from book and other sales with literary community-minded sites and individual. (See why I think you should consider helping me with this by buying all your books and other items through the links on my site ... here and here.
  • Through another personal site, Awakened Man, offer my creative talents (writing, social media management, and healing of body/mind/spirit through a variety of techniques) to other students and teachers. While, at the same time, put together enough cold, hard cash to support myself.
  • Decide what I want to be when I grow up.
My conscious effort at self-knowing has led me to a more balanced lifestyle of relaxation, using better coping strategies (at times), gaining better skills for communicating, and modifying my behaviors to have a happier and healthier life.

Some days seem to be failures at personal growth; other days seems huge successes. It's the old one step backward, five steps forward thing.


I prefer to think of our personal and spiritual development more like a spiral staircase rising toward the sky. While we're on the staircase, climbing higher and higher, the vantage point seems to change very little. But with each step we take -- though the view seems only partially changed -- we are still moving further along and higher than we were the step before.

The groovy part is that there's room on the staircase for all of us, together!

Life's all good -- and all is well


HAPPY 2012, EVERYBODY!!

If you haven't let it go, you're still holding on.
      -- Michael Walker, February 3, 2011
-----

If your like what you read here ... please post comments.  They help me with my life journey!
Share this post :
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on StumbleUpon
Share on Delicious
Share on Reddit
Share on Digg
Share on simpy
Share on Technorati
furl Share on furl
Feeds RSS Subscribe to Feeds RSS

Friday, October 7, 2011